As we all now know. It is George Lucas’ dream to destroy all of our childhoods. I don’t know what we did to him, but he i
s out to hurt us.
Looking back over the Star Wars series, you may wonder whether it was his plan all along.
Starting from the most recent:
Ziro the Hutt
This is the one that finally got me.
I have a been a massive fan of Star Wars for as long as I remember. I don’t think I was ever presented with something quite so ridiculous as this.
A clearly gay purple Hutt, with a hugely camp voice, neon tattoos and a flower on his head.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with gay characters, not even if they are meant to be crime lords. But the rest of the picture is too much. No wonder he lives on Coruscant away from the other Hutts. They’re not interested in metrosexuality.
This was a pure case of staring at the screen in disbelief. I could not comprehend that the Star Wars universe had come to this.
The very idea that he exists in the same world as Han Solo, it does not make sense.
Ahsoka Tano
Anakin Skywalker’s Padawan introduced in the animated Clone Wars movie and the continuing series.
A whiny little girl who has been given a lightsaber and thinks that she knows better than the Elder Jedi Masters.
Nicknaming her Master, Skyguy, and R2D2 as Artooey, just adds a level of cringe that is unnecessary.
She’s basically a Jedi Barbie, but not as sexy. Although no doubt as soon as they get the chance, fanboys are going to sex her up something ridiculous.
Most of us are simply waiting to see what happens when it comes to Order 66. The optimistic who notice that she is not present in Episode III, are thinking the fate might be revealed in the animated series. Something to look forward to.
Chewbacca in Episode III
Chewbacca had a cameo appearance in the series of films that he stars in.
It was pointless, added nothing and made us think about changing the classic phrase to “It’s a small universe after all”.
If he had to be in it, why did he have to be Yoda’s best friend?
And the teary farewell scene… “Goodbye *mumbles wookiee name that noone cares about*. Goodbye CHEWBACCA! LOOK EVERYONE IT’S CHEWBACCA! CHEWBACCA IS IN THE MOVIE!!”
General Grievous
Supposedly a precursor to Darth Vader’s life support suit, Grievous 
was meant to be an alien who had almost died in a space ship crash and been put back together at one of the droid factories, making him leaner, meaner, better, faster, stronger, harder, with four arms and a cough.
The cough supposedly to show that he had difficulty breathing just like Vader does with his heave breathing.
I preferred the idea that Mace Windu force pushed him in the gullet like in the cartoon.
Just a terrible villain if all you have watched is the films. His entire thing is to run away and let other droids fight for him. He doesn’t even kill anyone. The one scene in the entire thing that would have made him a half way decent villain was cut from the final edit, and then completely taken out of canon so that the Jedi he mercilessly killed could be re used in the Force Unleashed game.
They also cut a bit from the scene where Grievous and Obi Wan meet. Grievous boasts that he was trained in the Jedi arts by Count Dooku. Obi Wan should then retort by saying that he trained the Jedi that killed Dooku. Why leave out the good bits?
Then of course Grievous runs away, until there is literally no where else to run to, then is killed by Obi Wan.
Grievous was so much better in the cartoon that he was introduced. The episode on Hypori where he slaughters a bunch of Jedi and leaves a couple wounded was a great entrance. A shame they decided to take the character in a different, useless, cowardly direction.
Count Dooku
I am including this one here as some people do have a problem with him.
Personally I don’t mind. But here’s what they don’t like.
In Episode I, the SIth Apprentice was Darth Maul, a badass killing machine. People loved him. But he was cruelly cut down before his time. So Sidious got himself another stooge. This time it was Dooku.
Dooku was an intellect, a diplomat as well as being a skilled warrior. Fans of Maul thought that he could have done the job just as well as Dooku did and he should not have been killed off.
I don’t see it personally. To me, Maul was just a killing machine, a vessel of hate. He probably wasn’t capable of doing the political type stuff that Dooku got involved in. Still, a shame he was killed so soon, but it made a nice ending to the first film.
Dexter Jettster
People were opposed to the idea of an American Diner in the middle of Corsucant.
It was a bit odd sure, but I didn’t see a problem with the greasy owner that helped Obi Wan with some detective work.
It’s normal for a private eye to have some ears on the street who see people come and go and know where to dig up dirt.
Again though, there were those who were not fans.
Jango Fett and the Clones
Jango Fett appeared in Episode II. 
The silver suited father of Boba Fett. A plainly similar character who people would instantly realise that Boba had simply repainted his father’s image.
In fact that’s probably how they got the idea that Jango would be the clone subject.
They had copied a character from the original trilogy, he may as well be a clone.
What the fans opposed to however is that all of the stormtroopers too are clones of their favourite bounty hunter, and it sort of makes him less special.
Jango is an attempt to capitalise on Boba’s unforeseen popularity after the first trilogy. It didn’t do quite as well. I personally like Jango. It might be helped that I played the Bounty Hunter game, which gives him a nice backstory, but generally I like him. He has more depth that Boba in the original trilogy, but sadly shares a similar wasted death that his son recieves in ROTJ rather than a glorious end.
Jar Jar Binks
One of the big ones.
The fans had waited sixteen years to see a new Star Wars film. Hype was high, the world was excited.
They were greeted by a man sized frog doing a racist impression of Jamaicans.
There was outrage.
I personally don’t mind Jar Jar. Well, in that he doesn’t ruin the film for me. Qui Gon and Obi Wan clearly aren’t his biggest fans either, so at least the film acknowledges his annoyingness. It’s like saying that you don’t like Star Wars because Darth Vader is evil. How could a person do such nasty things? I can’t watch!
Watto
We were also treated to a nice racist impression of a Jewish man.
Not so much worry about him as far as I’m aware though.
Greedo Shoots First
A huge outrage to fans.
In the original screening of the films, during this scene, Han grows weary of Greedo and shoots him dead.
In the re edited edition, they’ve digitally added Greedo taking a pot shot first and Han dodging it before returning fire. Because good guys don’t shoot first. This despite, Greedo being keen to take Solo to Jabba for his bounty reward.
Well… at this point we’re not meant to know if Han is a good guy or not! Either way he’s a scoundrel and should remain so.
Nien Nunb
Some fans were not impressed by the foreign speaking Nien Nunb, 
Lando Calrissians co pilot in the Millenium Falcon during the run on the Second Death Star.
They warmed to him a bit more when they learned that translated into Swahili he was saying:
“1000 herds of elephants were standing on his feet.”
Ewoks
Cute cuddly teddy bears defeating the unstoppable Empire wound up quite a lot of people.
I think some of that number have warmed to the idea since Jar Jar was introduced, but back in the day, it looked like a bad move.
What these people are forgetting however, is that when first meeting them, the Ewoks tried to eat our heroes, like the cannibal savages that they are. Just because they’re small and cute does not mean they aren’t deadly.
And they won the battle, because they were on their turf. They knew every inch of their forest and could use nature to their advantage.
Yoda
Unbelievable now, but when he first appeared there were people who did not like the idea of a little muppet being Luke’s Jedi Master.
Nowadays he is one of films most beloved heroes.
C3P0
There were even those who did not like the character who delivered the first line of the saga.
If at that point you don’t like the film, I wouldn’t hold out much hope for the rest.
The fussy, English accented gold man was not a hero they could connect to. Maybe they would have preferred the used car salesman that George originally wanted the character to be.
I will agree though, that his appearance in the prequel trilogy is completely unneccessary although it is nice that he also speaks the very last line of Episode III, the last in the series. A nice C3P0 sandwich.
What’s Next?
Well, we have the continuing Clone Wars animated series, which has been sort of all right despite certain characters.
We have a live action TV series to look forward to, though last I heard the budget had been cut to a third of what it was. Not promising. It could go either way really.
And of course the recent news that the original trilogy is to be rereleased in glorious 3D. I hate 3D…
And you just know that he’s not going to stop there. He won’t be able to help himself but add a few more bits here and there.
Like…
- Alec Guinness morphing into Ewan McGregor at the end of ROTJ.
- The Cantina Band performing an Amy Winehouse cover.
- Han Solo survives the Death Star explosion by hiding in a fridge.
Занятно-занятно, нигде раньше на такое не натыкался.