Reasons ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Sucked

star wars vii logo

On coming out of the cinema after watching ‘Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens’ I was buzzing with the feeling “Star Wars is back!”. I couldn’t wait to see it again.
But after that initial elation had time to cool off, and I was able to think a little more clearly, several things became apparent to me and with each one I decided that I liked the movie less and less.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Not The Real Episode VII

Star-Wars-Episode-VII-fan-Poster
George Lucas has been saying for years that he has the outlines to the stories from Episode 1 through to 12. He recently sold the rights to ‘Star Wars’ to Disney, who handed the reigns to J.J.Abrams, and they decided not to use his stories. They wanted to make a movie for the fans.

Which means that the story we got in Episode VII was not the one we were meant to get according to the original vision. Episode VII was co-written by Lawrence Kasdan, who also wrote ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ and ‘Return of the Jedi’, so potentially there’s some surviving elements, but overall ‘Star Wars Episode VII’ and onwards is as much Star Wars as ‘Curse of Monkey Island’ and onwards is Monkey Island without Ron Gilbert’s real ending.

Does that make it a bad movie? Not necessarily. But it does raise questions about whether it should be considered true canon.

Unoriginality

Maz
As mentioned. Disney and Abrams wanted to make a movie for the fans.
Say what you like about Episode I, at least Lucas gave us something fresh and added a whole bunch of planets and lore to the already vibrant universe. Without the Darth Maul vs Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon battle, we’d still be looking at lightsabers as though they were broadswords.
Episode VII was on the whole a rehash of stuff we’d seen before. It played almost like a ‘best bits’ of the original trilogy. Another Death Star, a cantina scene full of wacky aliens, a tiny wrinkled mystic, a prison rescue, a conversation between the bad guy and a giant hologram of his mysterious boss, he is your father, just to name a few.

It kind of feels a bit like someone said “We’re gonna make millions however this goes, let’s just give the fans what they want”, which is something good film-makers should never say. I did appreciate the fan service of having cameos from Admiral Ackbar and Nien Nunb though.

That New Death Star

Weapon
Starkiller Base was the First Order’s superweapon. While in Episode IV we were shocked to see a space station the size of a small moon with enough firepower to destroy a planet in one blast, the stakes have been upped as the newest round space blaster thingy is the size of a planet, eats suns for fuel, and can destroy entire solar systems with one blast.
It’s the same just ramped up to 11.
Also it’s called Starkiller, as though that name hasn’t been referenced enough over the years of Star Wars spin offs.

It also has the same weakness: one thing that needs to be destroyed that will cause a chain reaction that will blow up the rest of it.
Although this time instead of being a tiny, practically impossible to hit target of a 2 metre exhaust port in a turbolaser strewn trench, or a reactor tucked deep inside the core of the structure, it’s a huge building right there on the surface. Just like in ROTJ, the ground team needed to deactivate the protective shield before the X-Wing fighters could make a dent, but they’d done that before, so doing it again wasn’t a big deal. Unoriginality note: shutting down the shield played out as a cross between Obi-Wan switching off the tractor beam in ANH and Han planting explosives in the bunker in ROTJ.

Stupid plot hole note: Why did they only send X-Wing fighters to attack the reactor building on Star Killer base? Where were the Y-Wing bombers? Even a B-Wing or two would have been handy!

Chewie’s Bowcaster

071-ChewbaccasBowcaster(A)
I don’t remember it having that kind of firepower in the the original trilogy, but it’s been 30 years. He could have upgraded it.
Anyway, the niggle here is that this movie is the first time Han ever uses Chewbacca’s weapon. How long have they been friends for now? He really never had a go with it before? Why is he so surprised by what it can do?

Getting the band back together

Star-Wars-Cast-Celebration-Cover
For many of us, much of the excitement of the new trilogy was that it would be continuing from Return of the Jedi and our heroes would be back in action. We were all hyped to see Han, Luke, Chewie, Leia, and the droids back in the falcon.
But that didn’t happen. We got Han and Chewie, and a small amount of Han and Leia, but there was no big reunion. Personally, my favourite part of the original trilogy is the first half hour of ROTJ: the Jabba’s palace sequence where everyone has teamed up to rescue Solo. They’re all there, they’re all buddies, they all have a bit of banter, and they all save the day.
Closely following that is the Death Star escape when Luke, Han, Chewie, Leia, Obi Wan and the droids are each doing their bit to save the galaxy. The trilogy is about an ensemble and there’s no one stand out hero.
I wanted to see them all together again for another adventure, but it didn’t happen, and it’s now not going to.

Captain Phasma

phasma
Super cool looking chrome stormtrooper commander. Ruthless and powerful. Gives in when threatened.
They brought in Gwendoline Christie to play the saga’s first proper female villain, and then did nothing with her except make her look like a coward. She could have been the new Boba Fett, but now she’s not even a General Grievous (Episode III version, not awesome Genndy Tartakovsky version).
Why wasn’t Phasma the trooper who took on Finn with a melee weapon? FN-2199 or Nines(fans call him TR-8R) will forever be the Fett for a new generation.

Poe’s Revival

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) Ph: David James ©Lucasfilm 2015

Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac)
Ph: David James
©Lucasfilm 2015

Poe’s dead. Oh crap. Now Finn’s alone!
Half the movie passes.
“Oh hai! Yeah. I’m fine actually. Let’s go blow up a Death Star!”
Eh?

ROTJ Ruined

Return-of-the-Jedi_612x380_1
This if anything is probably ‘Force Awakens’ unforgivable sin. Since 1983 we have been watching ‘Return of the Jedi’. It ends on a massive high note. The Empire is defeated, the Sith Lords are dead, Han is a military hero, Luke is a Jedi about to rebuild the order starting with sister, Han and Leia are happy young lovers.
Episode VII undoes all of that. The Empire have survived and although they are not in power, they’re still a huge threat, somehow capable of affording a new bigger superweapon. The Sith are gone, but the Knights of Ren happily step in to take their place. Han has been forced back into illegal underworld activity instead of being an important leader in the New Republic. Luke began building a new Jedi Order, but one Vader wannabe destroyed it all. That Vader wannabe happened to be his nephew, Leia and Han’s son Ben. Leia and Han’s excellent love story came to a tragic end as they parted ways only to be reunited once more before the end.
ROTJ told us that everything was ok in the end. FA says that the peace lasted the length of the Endor party and that the destruction of the second Death Star wasn’t that big a deal.
This I think was one thing that the old expanded universe might have done better than FA. There were threats, there was an Imperial Remnant, but the end of the Empire actually mattered.

Han’s Death

star-wars-episode-7-han-solo-maz-kanata-s-cantina-poe-dameron-s-origins-the-star-war-401178
I think we were all expecting Han to go in this trilogy. Harrison Ford has wanted Han to die a martyr for a good while. I didn’t expect it in the first movie.
We came for Star Wars and Han is one of the main reasons we come back. Now he’s gone and no one will be able to fill his boots. We’re not going to be treated to any more Luke and Han buddy banter. We’re not going to see any more of the tension between him and his love Leia. He’s a huge part of the comradery that gave the original trilogy its heart. With him gone, will he new trilogy have that same feeling?

I had the same complaint about Abrams ‘Star Trek’ movies. The friendship and history between Kirk, Spock, Bones, and the rest just is not there in the reboot movies, while it was the solid core that fans came to see in the originals.

But anyway. We expected Han to come to his end at some point. I’m not sure he was much of a martyr though. If anything he was wasted. His death only served to make Kylo Ren/Ben Solo feel more like the villain he wants to be. Han went out bravely, but his death wasn’t a sacrifice to save the others like Obi-Wan Kenobi’s, or in the heat of battle like Qui-Gon’s. It creates a pattern of a mentor being killed in the first movie of each trilogy, but he’s gone and it didn’t achieve anything. If anything it made the villain stronger, although perhaps his patricide will bother his subdued conscience later on.

You know what. Forget this point. I think I’m just sad that Han died.

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Breaking News!: Wolverines Are Not Wolves

This may come as a surprise to some, but wolves and wolverines are not the same thing. The wolf is the dog-like creature found in fairy tales and horror stories about were-wolves.
A wolverine is a weasel-like creature that looks a bit like a small bear. See below for a visual comparison.

wolf-vs-wolverine

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Reasons To Worry About The New Dad’s Army

dads army originalsdads army new cast

In February 2016, the Home Guard platoon of Walmington-On-Sea will be returning to the big screen. If this was happening 40 or so years ago, there’d be no need to worry. But in 2016, what we’re really getting is a reboot of a classic family favourite. An all new cast (except for original Pike, Ian Lavender, returning as Brigadier Pritchard and the original Vicar, Frank Williams, reprising his role as Vicar Timothy Farthing) is going to mean either impersonations of the stars of the old series, or an attempt to reinvent the much loved heroes for a new audience. I’d personally prefer the first, but it has to be done well e.g. Karl Urban as Doctor Leonard McCoy as opposed to Chris Pine as Captain Kirk.

I really am hoping that this movie will be a great, faithful adaptation. I’d love to enjoy it and be proven wrong on the following points, but at the minute I’m remaining sceptical.

Snobbish Star

I’m not sure about Toby Jones as Mainwaring. As probably the main character of Dad’s Army, he has been the most heavily featured in the trailers for the new movie. Somehow, Jones’ performance just doesn’t seem pompous enough. He’s a bit too soft. Maybe in the context of the film the side of Mainwaring’s character where he is blind to his own incompetence will come out a bit better than it has in the trailer snippets.

Do you think that’s wise sir?

Bill Nighy as Sergeant Wilson? I don’t see it. Wilson is meant to be a bit of a ladies man, and Nighy probably has that aspect going for him, but Wilson’s laid back, gentle charm that makes him such a fantastic character is something that I can’t see Nighy managing. To me Nighy has always been someone who fits a more hard-nosed type of role.

Pike inbetween his mother and Mainwaring

Blake Harrison as Private Pike could go either way. So far I’ve only ever seen him as a crude idiot in ‘The Inbetweeners’, and an opportunistic prankster in ‘The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret’. Being an actor ideally means being able to play a variety of roles, so maybe Harrison will make a good Pike, but at the moment I’m not quite sure how right he is for the part.

Gambon as Godfrey

Godfrey is the loveliest, cuddliest, softest old boy you can imagine. He’s brave too, but being adorable is his most obvious trait.
Last time Gambon was given the role of wise, lovely, friendly, old man, he played it as angry and aggressive. If new Godfrey is anything like new Dumbledore, this will be a mess.

Mum’s Army

There was an original series episode with this premise, and it’s a fine idea to include, but at the same time it stinks of ‘it’s the 21st century and movies have to have women in them’. The original series was about a platoon in wartime, so getting women involved wasn’t always easy. Mrs Pike was probably the only semi-regular female, with Mrs Fox coming into stories from time to time too. But that’s to be expected. It’s true to the time that war was fought by the men. They are Home Guard though, so there is no reason why local women shouldn’t have a role too. It’s not like they’re on the front line miles away from home.
mrs mainwaring dads army 2016
The biggest problem with this is that they’ve decided to cast Felicity Montagu (Lynn from Alan Partridge) as Mrs Mainwaring and have her centre stage. This alone is a move that seems to ignore the rich history of the show. Mrs Mainwaring was never seen in the entire run of the original series. The closest we got was the sight of a huge lump where she lay on a bunk bed. She wasn’t meant to be seen. She was meant to be a slightly scary, hideous, huge woman never seen but only spoken of. Like an urban legend, our imaginations were meant to do most of the work to fill in the gaps and wonder what Captain Mainwaring’s home life was like. Putting her on-screen takes away one of the series’ most enduring running gags and that air of mystery. Felicity isn’t nearly as gruesome or overweight as I imagined Mrs Mainwaring should be.

Innocent Charm

Comedy has changed in 40 years. The original Dad’s Army was family friendly with something for everyone. Nowadays, things seem to need an ‘edge’. Sure, the original had innuendo and sarcastic banter, but translating that to a modern audience which is used to things being more ‘in your face’ might be tricky.

dads army info

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Recreating An Accurate Springfield in ‘The Simpsons: Tapped Out’ – Part 16

Institute of Technology

Coffee Shop

Cemetery

Grocery Store

Duff Brewery

Springfield Raceway

Located at the top of a cliff overlooking the town, the raceway is the ideal home for Truckasaurus. It’s not in the game, but you can make one yourself!

Other sections of this Guide

Part 1: Intro, Simpson House, Flander’s House, Evergreen Terrace, Muntz House, Fat Tony’s Compound, First Church of Springfield
Part 2: Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Elementary, Springfield Police Department, Springfield General Hospital
Part 3: Moe’s Tavern, King Toots, Luigi’s, Nuclear Power Plant, Aztec Theatre
Part 4: Burn’s Manor, Bad Dream House, Springfield Retirement Castle
Part 5: Town Square: Town Hall, Jebediah Springfield Statue, Zesty’s, The Android’s Dungeon, Skip’s Diner, Herman’s Military Antiques, Jake’s Unisex Hair Palace, Bomb Shelter
Part 6: Santa’s Village, Springfield Downs, Buddhist Temple
Part 7: Town Planning
Part 8: The Gilded Truffle, ‘Up,Up and Buffet’, Pimento Grove, Java Server, Gulp ‘n’ Blow, Krusty Burger, Nighthawk Diner
Part 9: Skinner House, Wiggum House, Van Houten House, Sanjay’s House, Prince House, Lovejoy House, Frink’s House (Ultrahouse), Bumblebee Man’s House, Moleman’s House
Part 10: Observatory, Natural History Museum, Wax Museum, Stu’s Disco, Sir Putt-A-Lot’s Merrie Olde Fun Centre, Squidport
Part 11: Stonecutters, Solid Gold House, KBBL, Itchy and Scratchy Studio, DMV, Coliseum, Giuseppe’s Workshop, Spinster City
Part 12: Plan ahead! Or blow it up… Springfield Landscapes, Town Square, Elementary, Evergreen Terrace, Springfield Sign, Observatory, Cletus’ Farm, Fat Tony’s, Calmwood, Santa’s Village, Pow-Wow Casino, Sunsphere, Volcano Lair, Old Town, Bowlarama, Sir Putt-a-Lot’s, Penitentiary, Studios, Knowledgeum, Cracker Factory, Hospital, Abe’s Cabin, Burn’s Manor
Part 13: Cletus’ Farm, Springfield Seafront and Lighthouse, Springfield Penitentiary, Springfield Community Centre, Springfield High School, Lake Springfield, Jebediah Springfield Park, Veteran’s Park, Calmwood Mental Institute, Krusty’s Mansion, Springfield Sign
Part 14: Barney’s Bowlarama, Springfield Mall, Krustylu Studio and Film Set, Springfield Pet Store, Springfield Tire Fire, Lard Lad, Noiseland Arcade, Springfield Slaughterhouse, Ajax Steel Mill, Shotkickers, First Bank of Springfield, The Happy Sumo
Part 15: West Side! Mt Carlmore, Krabappel’s Apartment, the 939/636 divide, Lake Springfield, Banana Dictatorship, Mapple Store, Spiffanys, Costingtons, Ziff Mansion, Brockman Mansion, Quimby Mansion
Part 16: Institute of Technology, Coffee Shop, Grocery Store, Duff Brewery, Cemetery, Springfield Raceway
Part 17: City Planning: Relative Locations

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Recreating An Accurate Springfield in ‘The Simpsons: Tapped Out’ – Part 17

In this section we’ll try to make sense of some of the relative locations of things in the city:

Simpson’s House

Address: 742 Evergreen Terrace
Zone: East side Springfield, Pressboard Estates
To the left: Flanders House
To the right: Powell House
Opposite: Presidential Estate
Behind it: Orange House?
Near to:
Decorations: Olmec Head, Bart’s Treehouse, Homer’s Hammock, Homer’s pool

Flanders’ House

Address: 744 Evergreen Terrace
Zone: East side Springfield, Pressboard Estates
To the left: Purple House?
To the right: Simpson House
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations: Angel Topiary

Powell House

Address: 740 Evergreen Terrace
Zone: East side Springfield, Pressboard Estates
To the left: Simpson House
To the right: Brown House
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations: Monsarno wall between them and Simpsons

Krabappel’s Apartment

Address: 82 Evergreen Terrace
Zone: West side
To the left: Identical Apartment Block
To the right: Apartment Block
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Burns’ Manor

Address:
Zone: West Side
To the left:
To the right: Brockman’s Mansion
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations: Fountain, Moat, Burns’ Car

Nuclear Power Plant

Address:
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it: River
Near to: Tire Fire?
Decorations: Giant Burns Statue, Car Park, Nuclear Waste

Aztec Theatre

Address:
Zone: Town Square
To the left: Bookstore/ Pawn Shop
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Springfield Retirement Castle

Address:
Zone:
To the left: Fireworks, Candy & Puppies
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations: dead tree

Town Centre at Springfield Glenne

Address:
Zone: West side, Springfield Heights, Springfield Glenne
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations: Four Level Parking, Mapple Store, Spiffany’s Banana Dictatorship

Cemetery

Address:
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it: Cliff edge to sea
Near to: General Hospital
Decorations: Pet Cemetery, Grimes’ grave, Homer’s grave

Muntz House

Address: 19 Fish Smell Drive
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it: Apartments
Near to:
Decorations: Wrecked Car

First Church of Springfield

Address:
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite: Veterans Park
Behind it: Lighthouse (far behind)
Near to: Springfield Elementary (opposite side of road, few doors down to the left), Moe’s Tavern?
Decorations: Car park

Moe’s Tavern

Address: Main Street, Evergreen Terrace?
Zone:
To the left: First Church of Springfield?, Burns’ Slant Drilling Co (temporary)
To the right: King Toot’s
Opposite:
Behind it: Daycare Centre, Barney’s Bowlarama (some distance)
Near to:
Decorations: Car Park

King Toot’s

Address: Main Street
Zone:
To the left: Moe’s Tavern
To the right: Hotel
Opposite: It Blows
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Kwik-E-Mart

Address: Elm Street
Zone:
To the left: Large grey or orange building
To the right: road
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to: Evergreen Terrace, Moe’s Tavern?
Decorations: Car park, gas pumps, dumpster

Springfield Elementary

Address:
Zone:
To the left:
To the right: Veteran’s Park
Opposite: Lard Lad/Semi Painless Dentistry?
Behind it: Houses including Bad Dream House
Near to: First Church of Springfield,
Decorations: School Bus, Car Park, Tire Swing, Swing Set, Benches, Willie’s Shack,

Springfield Police Department

Address:
Zone:
To the left:
To the right: Springfield Coliseum
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations: Police Car, SWAT van, Police Blimp

Springfield General Hospital

Address:
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to: Cemetery
Decorations: Ambulance

Luigi’s

Address:
Zone:
To the left: road
To the right: green building with alley in between
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

The Gilded Truffle

Address:
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite: Up, Up & Buffet
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

The Java Server

Address:
Zone:
To the left: Red brick building
To the right: purple building
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Nighthawk Diner

Address:
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite: some kind of toy shop
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Skinner House

Address:
Zone: West side
To the left:
To the right: Krusty Burger
Opposite:
Behind it: Prince House
Near to:
Decorations: Birdbath

Van Houten House

Address:
Zone: West Side
To the left: Road
To the right: house
Opposite: houses
Behind it: blue house
Near to:
Decorations:

Wiggum House

Address: 732 Evergreen Terrace
Zone: West Side
To the left: Hibbert House
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations: Police Car, Swing, Rock

Frink’s House

Address: 754 Evergreen Terrace
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations: Teleporter, Frink’s Car

Presidential Estate

Address: 743 Evergreen Terrace
Zone: East side Springfield, Pressboard Estates
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite: Simpson’s House
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Sanjay’s House

Address:
Zone: West Side
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to: Kwik-E-Mart
Decorations: Pool, Pool house

Lovejoy House

Address:
Zone:
To the left:
To the right: pink/blue house
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Solid Gold House

Address:
Zone: West Side
To the left: red mansion
To the right: white mansion
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations: Turbo car

Springfield Mall

Address:
Zone:
To the left: Hailstones
To the right: Large grey/white building
Opposite: large car park and Krusty Burger
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Vesuvius Pizza

Address: Fast-Food Boulevard
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to: A Krusty burger and a Lard Lad Donuts are on the same street.
Decorations:

El Chemistri

Address: West Oak Street
Zone: West side
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Classy Girls Strip Club

Address: East Oak Street
Zone: East side
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Muntz House

Address: 19 Fish Smell Drive
Zone:
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it: Apartments
Near to:
Decorations: Wrecked Car

Springfield Tire Fire

s26e17 - blimp building
To the left: Blimp Mooring Station
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:

Hibbert’s House

Address: 734 Evergreen Terrace
Zone: East Side
To the left:
To the right: road
Opposite:
Behind it: Wiggum House
Near to:
Decorations: Hibbert’s Shed

Moe’s House (brown house?)

Address: 57 Walnut Street or 555 Evergreen Terrace
Zone: East Side
To the left:
To the right:
Opposite:
Behind it:
Near to:
Decorations:

Other sections of this Guide

Part 1: Intro, Simpson House, Flander’s House, Evergreen Terrace, Muntz House, Fat Tony’s Compound, First Church of Springfield
Part 2: Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Elementary, Springfield Police Department, Springfield General Hospital
Part 3: Moe’s Tavern, King Toots, Luigi’s, Nuclear Power Plant, Aztec Theatre
Part 4: Burn’s Manor, Bad Dream House, Springfield Retirement Castle
Part 5: Town Square: Town Hall, Jebediah Springfield Statue, Zesty’s, The Android’s Dungeon, Skip’s Diner, Herman’s Military Antiques, Jake’s Unisex Hair Palace, Bomb Shelter
Part 6: Santa’s Village, Springfield Downs, Buddhist Temple
Part 7: Town Planning
Part 8: The Gilded Truffle, ‘Up,Up and Buffet’, Pimento Grove, Java Server, Gulp ‘n’ Blow, Krusty Burger, Nighthawk Diner
Part 9: Skinner House, Wiggum House, Van Houten House, Sanjay’s House, Prince House, Lovejoy House, Frink’s House (Ultrahouse), Bumblebee Man’s House, Moleman’s House
Part 10: Observatory, Natural History Museum, Wax Museum, Stu’s Disco, Sir Putt-A-Lot’s Merrie Olde Fun Centre, Squidport
Part 11: Stonecutters, Solid Gold House, KBBL, Itchy and Scratchy Studio, DMV, Coliseum, Giuseppe’s Workshop, Spinster City
Part 12: Plan ahead! Or blow it up… Springfield Landscapes, Town Square, Elementary, Evergreen Terrace, Springfield Sign, Observatory, Cletus’ Farm, Fat Tony’s, Calmwood, Santa’s Village, Pow-Wow Casino, Sunsphere, Volcano Lair, Old Town, Bowlarama, Sir Putt-a-Lot’s, Penitentiary, Studios, Knowledgeum, Cracker Factory, Hospital, Abe’s Cabin, Burn’s Manor
Part 13: Cletus’ Farm, Springfield Seafront and Lighthouse, Springfield Penitentiary, Springfield Community Centre, Springfield High School, Lake Springfield, Jebediah Springfield Park, Veteran’s Park, Calmwood Mental Institute, Krusty’s Mansion, Springfield Sign
Part 14: Barney’s Bowlarama, Springfield Mall, Krustylu Studio and Film Set, Springfield Pet Store, Springfield Tire Fire, Lard Lad, Noiseland Arcade, Springfield Slaughterhouse, Ajax Steel Mill, Shotkickers, First Bank of Springfield, The Happy Sumo
Part 15: West Side! Mt Carlmore, Krabappel’s Apartment, the 939/636 divide, Lake Springfield, Banana Dictatorship, Mapple Store, Spiffanys, Costingtons, Ziff Mansion, Brockman Mansion, Quimby Mansion
Part 16: Institute of Technology, Coffee Shop, Grocery Store, Duff Brewery, Cemetery, Springfield Raceway
Part 17: City Planning: Relative Locations

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What We’re Hoping For From Star Wars: Battlefront 2015

star_wars_battlefront__4-17_f

Back in the day, my friends and I were on the original two ‘Star Wars: Battlefront’ games almost daily. They ranked among the best multiplayer games and the best Star Wars games, and the combination was irresistible.
One of my fondest memories of gaming was a dogfight I had with a buddy, he in a TIE Interceptor, me in a Y-Wing bomber. He chased me around as I slowly but surely pummelled his Star Destroyer’s sections, constantly on my tail with barrages of lazer fire. My sturdy Y-Wing, with a pilot constantly working at repairs could handle the beating he was sending my way, but the longer I survived the worse off his capital ship was getting. For me, the constant harassment was making it more tricky to bomb the Star Destroyer than I’d like, so I turned my guns on him. His Interceptor was a lot faster and more manoeuvrable than my Y-Wing, and he was running rings around me. Then, somehow, as though I’d followed Luke Skywalker’s example and switched off my targeting computer to let the Force guide me, I switched from lazer guns to a single bomb launch. That solo bomb launched out and landed a direct hit on his cockpit, killing him and destroying his TIE Interceptor in one hit. It was glorious!
star wars battlefront jakku
The release of the new ‘Star Wars: Battlefront’ from DICE is getting ever closer, and as it approaches let’s take a look at some of the features we’re hoping to enjoy in the long awaited latest instalment in the franchise. (Available for PS4, Xbox One, and PC from 19th November 2015)

New Locations

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‘Star Wars: Battlefront’ is going to be the first game that lets us explore worlds from the new/upcoming sequel trilogy beginning with the desert planet Jakku.

Possibly more interesting is that it will be the first time we see Sullust at all, which has not yet been realised in a movie. Hopefully we might get to finally see a representation of Corellia too.

Well Balanced Jedi

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In the first Battlefront, Jedi and Sith were a force to be reckoned with. If you were a rebel soldier and you heard Vader breathing, you knew your time was up.
About the only way to kill a Jedi or Sith was to land a grenade near enough to blast them off of a ledge, or to land a vehicle on their heads.
It was great.

In the second Battlefront, we finally were given the ability to play as Jedi and Sith heroes. However, the playable force users had been watered down. They were flimsy, difficult to control, and a trooper who was fast on his feet could easily dispatch them.

I’m hoping that the new game finds a balance. From the trailer it looks like Jedi and Sith who meet on the battlefield will also be able to duel properly with blocks and parries. If that’s the case, it will be a massive improvement over the wild swinging from ‘Battlefront II’.

Decent Customisation

star-wars-battlefront-renegade-squadron-psp-customised-wookiee
I was never opposed to simply having a class structure for the troopers: snipers being equipped with a set load-out, heavies with a different set load-out etc.

The Battlefront games for portable devices introduced character customisation. You could choose your weapons, sidearms, accessories, helmet, colours etc. To an extent, this is great, and you can experiment with different combinations, but I found for any group apart from the Rebels, it made the army look messy.
The Republic and the Empire should be about uniform and removing individual humanity. The Rebels were a ragtag group and could look a bit all over the place with many species filling the ranks, but the armoured clones and stormtroopers should look like a well oiled unit. This is a personal niggle really, but I think it detracted from what the universe is about, especially in a game where the whole point is that you aren’t playing as a hero, but simply one of the troops.

Dogfights

star_wars_battlefront_-_fighter_squadron_-_millennium_falcon___final_for_release
Rumour has it that there aren’t going to be any space battles this time around, but there will be access to the classic fighters and you will be able to dogfight within planetary atmospheres. Hopefully the good balance of different crafts still remains that can be used to suit different playstyles and tactics.

It does seem strange that a ‘Star Wars’ game all about battles has no space combat, but the first one didn’t either so it’s not without precedent. Perhaps we will see it included in future DLC.

A Good Galactic Conquest Mode

Galactic_conquest
As far as I am aware, Galactic Conquest is also not returning. Again, maybe it will be added in an update. I would hope so anyway. A good mixture of the features from the previous games would be ideal.

In the first Battlefront each planet had two maps, so each faction could be in control of one map and the planet would be contested. You would have to take both maps to have control of the planet. Owning a planet gave you a bonus.
In Battlefront II there was a Galactic Map that you could move your fleets around and send to invade enemy or unowned planets. You could also send your fleet to attack enemy fleets and weaken their forces.
You could buy heroes, extra fleets, and power-ups. I think heroes should be assigned to specific fleets and will attack any planet that they are sent to with the specific fleet rather than the old style of having heroes designated to specific planets.

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Doodle God – PC Review

doodle-god-small-tile1
PC (Steam)

5/10

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‘Doodle God’ is a new game for Steam adapted from a mobile app by Joybits. It’s similar to some other apps you can get.

In the game you play the role of God. In the beginning you have four elements, earth, air, water, and fire. From these you have to build the rest of creation.

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It’s very simple to play. Pick two elements, throw them together, and see what happens. If you’re lucky you’ll get something new to play with. For example mixing earth with water will create a swamp. You can then use the swamp to help make other stuff. Sometimes when mixing nothing happens, sometimes you get more than one prize.
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The game is good looking with nice animations and sweet sound effects. Sometimes when you discover a new element you’ll see it realised on the map of Earth. You can playback your journey of discovery and creation as a video to see everything spring up on the planet and bring back memories of how you clicked a couple of buttons to make it happen.
A nice touch is that each elemental discovery is accompanied by a quote from a famous person or proverb.
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However, the fun of mixing things together gradually evolves into a frustration and boredom as you grind your way through the numerous elements desperately trying to find stuff that works together.
Some of the logic of the game is a little iffy, and other times you wonder why mixing certain things doesn’t yield a result, but as with all games of this type, that’s to be expected. It doesn’t really affect the overall experience.
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The worst thing about the game is that it wants your money. We don’t object to paying for a game, but after buying it, we don’t expect to be faced with microtransactions. Unfortunately, ‘Doodle God’ offers packs of hints for payment, as well as a few other game tweaks to make things smoother for the player, such as letting you know if an element can not be mixed with anything else.
As a free mobile app, the microtransactions probably made sense (although I am generally not a fan of the freemium game model), but now as a PC game which has to be bought, the shop should be swapped out for an in-game way of earning hints.

The game probably overall works better as a mobile app – something simple to do while on a bus or train. When you’re in the comfort of your own home, you’d be better off with something a bit more substantial than endless tapping on icons.
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You do have other modes such as puzzle and artifact building but they amount to being basically identical to the main game.

The game is charming and good looking, but considering you can get the same kind of thing for free, there’s little to no reason to buy this.

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Rules of Mafia – A Fun Game For Parties Or Chat Forums

fallout vault boy gangsterMafia is a party game that was invented in 1986. Since then it’s become a hit for youth groups, drama club warm ups, geek conventions, and the like.
It’s simple, but get you thinking in ways that many party games don’t come near to. It places an informed minority up against an uninformed majority. It’s become so popular and widespread that it even has online forum variants now!

Some members of the group play as the murderous Mafia, while the rest play as Innocent Villagers. The goal of the game is to wipe out the opposing team, either restoring peace or establishing mob rule!

Party Game Rules

The goal of the game depends on which team you are on.
If you are Mafia, then you need to kill the Innocents.
If you are an Innocent, you win if all of the Mafia are wiped out.

Teams
The game requires a decent sized group to begin with, probably at least 10.

One player is the Moderator.
The rest of the group stand in a circle and are split into Mafia and Innocents. It’s up to the Moderator how to split the teams. The most common split is either that 3 people are Mafia, and the rest are Innocents, or that one third of the players are Mafia.
The teams are chosen by the Moderator. At the start, everybody closes their eyes or puts on a blindfold. The Moderator walks around the circle and taps the people he/she chooses to play as Mafia.
When the Mafia have been chosen, the Moderator announces how many members the gang has and play begins.

Game
The game is split into two segments: Night and Day.

During the Day, everyone discusses who they think might be Mafia and vote for their suspects. The suspect who receives the most votes is ‘lynched’ and is out of the game.
The Moderator then announces whether the lynched suspect was a Mafia member or a wrongly accused Innocent.

During Night, everyone places their blindfolds back on (goes to sleep) and it is the Mafia’s time to strike. The Mafia remove their blindfolds (wake up) and silently point to an Innocent they would like to murder. They all have to agree on one target.
The Moderator can make noise, or play music, or have the Innocents tap their feet and/or clap to mask the sound of movement from Mafia.
When an Innocent target has been chosen, everyone can remove their blindfolds, and the Moderator announces who has been murdered. They do not reveal whether they were Mafia or Villager. The victim is out of the game.

Any lynched or murdered victims can sit and watch the game unfold with the Moderator.

The cycles of Night and Day continue until the Innocents have lynched all of the Mafia, or the Mafia murder all of the Innocents.
In the event that the last two players standing are one Mafia and one Villager, then the Mafia wins.

Variations
Some people who have the hang of the game like to add more roles to the game to mix things up a bit and add extra levels of intrigue.
Again they are chosen by the Moderator. After he/she has picked Mafia, he/she can announce that they are going to pick another role and then tap someone else on the shoulder in secret. If any of the special characters are killed in any way, it is up to the Moderator whether their role is revealed. Here are a few roles that can be added. Feel free to make up your own!:

Innocents:
Detective: The most common addition and almost always used nowadays. The Detective is a member of the Villagers and plays on their side. During the Night, after the Mafia strike and have replaced their blindfolds, the Moderator can let the Detective remove theirs. The Detective points at one person. The Moderator can nod to tell them that the person is Mafia, or shake their head to tell them that they are an Innocent. The Detective then replaces their blindfold and play continues.
When Day comes around the Moderator can announce whether or not the Detective found a Mafia member, depending on how you want to play. The Detective’s role is secret, partly to protect them from the Mafia, and partly to allow anyone to claim that they are it. However, they will need to convince the rest of the Villagers of what they know without giving themselves away.
You can have more than one Detective, but they have to wake up one at a time so they don’t know what each other knows.

Doctor: This is another commonly used role. At Night, after the Mafia attack, the Doctor is woken. They choose one person to protect. That person is safe from any type of attack that Night. The Doctor can protect themselves, but can not protect the same person two nights in a row. The Doctor wins with the Innocents.

Witness: The Witness is an Innocent who knows from the start who all of the Mafia are.

Vigilante: A Villager with the power to kill at Night. After the Mafia murder, the Vigilante wakes up and chooses their own target to kill. They do not have to kill anyone.
When Day comes and the Moderator announces who was murdered, he/she says whether or not the Vigilante killed a Mafia member.

Lawyer At Night the Lawyer chooses one person. During the Day, if that person is chosen to be lynched, they are saved and the person with the next highest number of votes is killed instead. They can choose themselves, but can not choose the same person two nights in a row. The Lawyer is an Innocent.

Mayor: If during Day the number of votes is tied, the Mayor of the Innocents has the deciding vote and his/her target is lynched. The Mayor doesn’t reveal their identity, but the Moderator will know who they are.

Drunkard: The lynch vote of the Village Drunk never/rarely counts.

Medium: The Medium is similar to the Detective, except that they can only investigate dead players to find out what team they were on.

Soldier: The Soldier is able to survive one attack. If they are attacked again, their armour is lost and they die. The Soldier wins with the Innocents.

Mafia:
The Godfather: A Mafia member. If the Detective tries to find out his allegiance, he will appear to be Innocent. (You could also have an Outsider: a Villager who appears guilty).

Traitor The Traitor knows who the Mafia are, but stays asleep while they choose who to kill. During the Day, the Traitor tries to convince players to not vote for Mafia members. The Traitor wins if the Mafia wins but the Detective sees the Traitor as an Innocent Villager. If they are lynched, the Moderator can reveal that they were the Traitor.

Either:
Tracker: The Tracker is similar to the Detective, but instead of finding out what team someone is on, they find out if someone has been targeted by another role. Either team can have a Tracker.

Psychic: The Psychic is similar to the Detective, but instead of finding out what team someone is on, they can find out if someone has a Night time role. This role works best when the players are using several different roles. Either team can have a Psychic.

The Bomb: The Bomb could be on either team. If they are killed in a Night attack, the person who targeted them also dies. The rule doesn’t apply during a Day lynch.

Thief: The Thief is the first to wake up during the Night and chooses one person. Any action their target takes that night is cancelled. They can’t target the same person two nights in a row. The Thief can be Mafia or Villager.

Wildcard: A solo killer. They play on their own team, and their goal is to be the last one standing at the end of the game. After the Mafia has their Night kill, the Wildcard wakes up and chooses their own target.
When Day comes, the Moderator announces all deaths. If the Wildcard is lynched, the Moderator can reveal that they were the Wildcard.

Simple Gameplay Summary

  1. A Moderator is chosen
  2. The Players stand in a circle
  3. The Moderator announces that they will choose who will be Mafia. Everyone puts on a blindfold. The Moderator walks around the outside of the circle and taps those who will be Mafia.
  4. If you wish to include them, the Moderator announces another role, and repeats the walk and taps. Carry on until all desired roles are given.
  5. Day begins. Everyone votes for who they suspect could be Mafia. The person with the most votes dies. The Moderator announces whether they were Mafia or Innocent Villager.
  6. Night begins. Everyone places on their blindfolds. The Mafia silently choose a victim.
  7. Any other roles take turns to wake up, perform their action, and go back to sleep.
  8. The Moderator wakes everyone and announces who has been killed in the Night. They do not say what team they were on (unless the role demands it).
  9. Day and Night continue until one team is wiped out.

Online Forum Game Rules

The goal and set up is essentially the same as the live party game.
A Moderator plus two teams: Villagers vs Mafia.

The benefit of playing online is that certain things can be kept secret much easier by using Private Messaging to give people their roles and to perform Night time actions.
You can also have the fun of writing up Night actions into a kind of story that reveals what happens rather than simply announcing the results.

A possible downside is that forums require extra rules that might be a little more difficult to moderate:

  • All talk must be kept to the game thread. Players must not Private Message one another unless their roles allow it e.g. Mafia can speak to each other at any time.
  • Players must not delete or edit their posts.
  • Dead players can not post (or must post off-topic in a different colour).
  • Anyone who does not vote gets an automatic vote against them.

Organising Night and Day periods might be a little different too. Setting a time limit on getting votes in might be the best option depending on how active forum members are. Perhaps giving 24 hours for each time period ending at a specific hour.

Because of the Private Messaging system, Night time actions can be a fair bit more complicated too if you’d like to come up with new roles. You can even have a different game theme!

There’s two examples below that you can use, or adapt to suit yourself. The first is straight forward, the second is a bit more complicated for once you get the hang of the basic game.

Simpsons Mafia Forum Game

Springfield Mafia
Some characters are allowed to Private Message (PM) each other. Characters who are allowed to PM each other, should reveal who they are to each other. This allows them to try and protect each other from lynch votes.

Springfielder lynch voting happens during the Day, while Mafia murders happen at Night.
All Night actions are to be secretly Private Messaged to the Moderator. Player’s votes can be silenced by Night actions. These players should still vote, but the Moderator will remove them from the final tally.

Springfielders
The Springfielders must find and lynch all of the Mafia.

Homer Simpson
Homer is a human punchbag. He will survive his first lynch vote.

Marge Simpson
As a protective mother, every Night Marge can choose to protect either Bart, Lisa, or Homer. She can not protect the same character two nights in a row. She will not know which player is which character, but she will discover if a character she attempts to protect is dead.

Lisa Simpson
Every night she can investigate one player and discover which side they are on.

Bart Simpson
Every night Bart can take Santa’s Little Helper and track one player. They can see who the player targets, but not what they were doing.

Abe Simpson
Abe has a knack for boring people to sleep with his endless stories. Every Night he chooses one person to talk at. That person is prevented from any Night activity. He can not choose the same person for two Nights in a row.

Mayor Quimby
Each of the mayor’s lynch votes count as two.

Lionel Hutz
Every Night the Lawyer may choose one player. During the next Day, if that person is chosen to be lynched, they are saved and the person with the next highest number of votes is killed instead. Lionel can choose himself, but can not choose the same person two nights in a row.

Patty Bouvier
Patty has PM privileges with her twin sister Selma.

Selma Bouvier
Selma has PM privileges with her twin sister Patty.

Lenny Leonard
Lenny has PM privileges with his best friend Carl.

Carl Carlson
Carl has PM privileges with his best friend Lenny.

Charles Montgomery Burns
Burns has PM privileges with his lacky Smithers.

Waylon Smithers
Smithers has PM privileges with his beloved boss Mr Burns. If Mr Burns is targeted for a kill, Smithers will die for him.

Moe Szyslak
Moe passes a spiked drink to one player every Night. Any Night action they take is cancelled. He can not spike the same player two Nights in a row.

Barney Gumble
Barney’s lynch votes have a 50% chance of counting.

Chief Clancy Wiggum
The Police Chief has PM privileges with his officers Lou and Eddie.

Lou
Officer Lou has PM privileges with Chief Wiggum and Eddie. Every night he can investigate one player and discover which side they are on.

Eddie
Officer Eddie has PM privileges with Chief Wiggum and Eddie.

Dr Julius Hibbert
Every Night Doctor Hibbert can choose one player to protect from a Night kill. He can protect himself. He can not protect the same player two nights in a row.

Seymour Skinner
Using incredible army survival skills, Skinner will not be killed the first time he is targeted.

Snake Jailbird
Every even night, Snake has the option to attempt his own Night kill. There is a 33% chance of success.

Duffman
Every Night Duffman arrives to party with one player. That player will get so drunk that their next vote the next Day does not count. He can not party with the same player for two nights in a row.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Every Night Apu hands out a free Squishee made from the sludge at the bottom of the machine to another player. The Squishee makes the player hyperactive and doubles their vote for the next Day. Apu will not drink the Squishees himself. One free Squishee per customer!

Drederick Tatum
If Tatum is targeted for a Night kill, he will fight back and murder one player responsible.

Mafia
The Mafia must murder all of the Springfielders. They all have PM privileges with each other.

Don Vittorio DiMaggio
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The Mafia Don will appear innocent to any investigators.

Fat Tony D’Amico
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Legs
legs

Louie
185px-Louie

Johnny ‘Tightlips’ Schmallippe
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Johnny is so incorruptible that any player who targets him at Night (with any ability except a kill) will fail.

Frankie the Squealer
frankie the squealer
During lynch votes, Frankie is only allowed to vote for fellow Mafia members. Failure to do so will result in three extra votes against him during the next lynch.

Joey
Joey_(mafia)

Star Wars Mafia Forum Game

Here Cracking Ace translates the Mafia Party Game into a ‘Star Wars Mafia Forum Game’. This one’s probably better for more experienced players. Enjoy!

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Basics
In this variant, there are three teams: The Rebels, the Empire, and the Gangsters, plus some Rogues.
The Empire and Gangsters function much like the Mafia, while the Rebels function like the Innocents.
Each player is randomly assigned a character. Each character has their own unique role within the game.
Within the thread, no one is allowed to reveal which character they have been given. Some characters are allowed to Private Message (PM) each other. Characters who are allowed to PM each other, should reveal who they are to each other. This allows them to try and protect each other from lynch votes.
Many characters have special abilities. Some of the abilities are to be kept secret from everyone except the character’s player and the Moderators.

The Rebels must wipe out the Empire and the Gangsters.
The Empire must wipe out the Rebels and the Gangsters.
The Gangsters must wipe out the Rebels and the Empire.
The Rogues must be the last one standing.

Lynch voting happens during the Day, while Imperial and Gang murders happen on alternate Nights.
Player’s votes can be silenced by Night actions. These players should still vote, but the Moderator will remove them from the final tally.

Set Up
The Galaxy is a dangerous place and war rages. The Empire have a super weapon called the Death Star, a huge space station the size of a small moon with the power to destroy entire planets with one blast.

During each Day each player must choose a planet to travel to. They can stay on the same planet for as long as they like. They must PM the Mod with their choice. Some planets offer bonuses. The options are listed further on below.
As long as the Death Star is in play, it will be capable of destroying planets. Any players on planets that are destroyed are killed.

The planet list is as follows:
Tatooine: The Empire has no power here. Their lynch votes against anyone on this planet are silenced. Night assassinations are still effective.
Coruscant: The Empire will never destroy Coruscant. However, any Rebels or Gangsters found here during Day have a 33% chance of being found by stormtroopers and killed on sight.
Hoth: Imperial blockades are ineffective here. The Rebel ion cannon keeps them at bay.
Bespin:
Dagobah: Lynch votes of Force users on this planet count for double.
Kashyyyk:
Yavin IV: Sith can not use their force powers to search Rebels stationed here. The ability is blocked.
Sullust:
Corellia:
Mon Calamari:
Naboo: The Naboo space fleet make the planet immune from blockades.
Geonosis:
Jakku:
Korriban: Jedi can not use their force powers to search Sith stationed here. The ability is blocked.
Cato Neimodia
Felucia
Mygeeto

Players can also earn Galactic Credits to buy items. Items are single use abilities.
Players can be awarded Credits at the Moderator’s discretion or in the following ways:
1 credit for not voting for the player who gets lynched if they were a Rebel.
5 credits for voting for the player who gets lynched if they are ‘mafia’.
Players with PM privileges can share their Credits between them.

Shop:
5 credits: Ray Shield – traps another player and allows you to steal their next lynch vote.
10 credits: Personal Shield – saves you from one kill.
10 credits: Battle Droid – sent out at Night to attempt an assassination. 33% chance of success.
15 credits: Droideka – sent out at Night to attempt an assassination. 50% chance of success.

Rule Recap

  1. Each team must wipe out every opposing team. Rogues must be the last player standing.
  2. During the Day each player posts their game discussion and lynch vote in the game thread. They PM the planet they would like to visit to the Moderator.
  3. During the Night, the Empire and Gangsters take turns to assassinate enemies. Players with Night abilities may use them via PM to the Moderators.
  4. All players must keep their characters and secret abilities to themselves. They may only be revealed to those they have PM privileges with.
  5. The Moderator will take into account all Night abilities before announcing who has been killed and which planet has been destroyed. Anyone who has been silenced or has found some information will be notified by PM.

Rebels
Most Rebels only know their own identity. Unless they have PM privileges with another person, they must not reveal their character to anyone.

Luke Skywalker
Force Sensitive: Luke is a force-sensitive Jedi. On even days he can reach out with the Force and search someone. If they are also force-sensitive, he will find out that they have force powers.
Death Star Destroyer: Luke can PM Wedge Antilles. Every night, they can choose a planet to search for the Death Star together. If they find the Death Star, there is a 50% chance that they will lead Rogue Squadron to destroy it. If one of them dies, the chance is reduced to 33%.

Leia Organa
Luke’s Sister: If Luke finds Leia when using his force ability, they will gain PM privileges.
Secret Ability: Diplomat: On even nights she can name one planet to protect from the Death Star attack.

Han Solo
Smuggler: Han Solo is the captain of the Millennium Falcon and has PM privileges with his loyal co-pilot Chewbacca. He is skilled at avoiding Imperial entanglements and is immune to blockades and Death Star attacks. Chewbacca and Han must always go to the same planet. Han will rescue any Rebels on the same planet as him if they need to to leave for any reason.

Chewbacca
Life Debt: Chewbacca has PM privileges wih his captain Han Solo. Chewie owes Han a Wookiee life debt, so if Han is targeted for a Night kill, Chewie will die in his place. Chewbacca and Han must always go to the same planet.

Wedge Antilles
Death Star Destroyer: Wedge has PM privileges with Luke Skywalker. Every night, he and Luke choose a planet to search for the Death Star together. If they find it, there is a 50% chance they will destroy it. If one of them dies, the chance is reduced to 33%.

Lando Calrissian
Pirate: Lando is immune to blockades.
Secret Abilities: Deal maker: He can use his network to silence one lynch vote every night. He can not silence the same player two nights in a row.
Administrator: He knows every player that enters or leaves Bespin. Every night he may search one person on that planet and find out if they are hero or villain.
Death Star Destroyer: If Luke and Wedge are both killed, he takes over the Death Star search. He has a 33% chance of destroying it if he finds it.

Admiral Ackbar
Admiral: Ackbar commands the Rebel fleet. Any planet he visits becomes immune from blockades. If the planet he is protecting is attacked by the Death Star, he will be killed, but the planet will be saved.

Yoda
Force Sensitive: A force sensitive Jedi Master. On even nights, he can reach out with the Force and search someone. If they are also force-sensitive, he will find out that they have force powers.
Secret Ability: Force Ghost: If Yoda is killed, he will return as a Force Ghost. He can still lynch vote and use his ability, but there is a 50% chance that they won’t work. He can not be killed again, but the Rebels lose if he is the last remaining hero (he’s already dead).
As a Force Ghost every night he can investigate one deceased player and find out which character they were.

Nien Nunb
Secret Ability: Sullustan: People can barely understand his language. There is a 33% chance that his lynch votes won’t count. If he is on planet Sullust, or on the same planet as C-3P0 his votes always count.

C-3P0
This droid has PM privileges with his counterpart R2-D2.
Droid: As a droid, he can be rebuilt. The first time he is targeted, he is merely silenced for the next Day lynch.
Secret Ability: Mimic: As a master of language, voices, and storytelling, every night C-3P0 can imitate any other character’s public ability. He may not mimic the same character for two nights running, and he may not target the same character two nights in a row. He can not mimic force sensitivity, Death Star attacks, or PM privileges with any other character. He will PM which character he would like to mimic and his target to the Moderator. The Moderator will tell him if his mimic was successful or if the character he attempted to mimic was dead.

R2-D2
This droid has PM privileges with his friend C-3P0.
Hacker: Using incredible hacking abilities, every night he can search a player to learn whether or not they are hero or villain.
Droid: As a droid, he can be rebuilt. The first time he is targeted, he is merely silenced for the next Day lynch.

2-1B
Doctor: This medical droid can choose one player each night to protect from assassination. They are powerless against planet destruction however.
Droid: As a droid, he can be rebuilt. The first time he is targeted, he is merely silenced for the next Day lynch.

Mon Mothma
Spy: Using her Bothan spy network, she can block one player’s ability every Night. She can not target the same person twice in a row.

Kyle Katarn
Force Sensitive: Kyle is a force-sensitive. On even nights, he can reach out with the Force and search someone. If they are also force-sensitive, he will find out that they have force powers.
Secret Ability: Trickster: Every night he can target one player. Any negative Night ability aimed at Kyle will be deflected onto his target (not including Force searches). He can not target the same person twice in a row.

Dash Rendar
Smuggler: Dash is a skilled pilot and smuggler. He is immune to blockades. He can rescue any Rebels trapped on a planet with him.

General Carlist Rieekan
Evacuation: Rieekan allows Rebels to leave blockaded planets but not enter.

Empire
The Imperials all have PM privileges with each other. On odd nights the Imperials choose one player to assassinate.
At the beginning of the game, they choose a planet to keep the Death Star in orbit around. On even nights they choose a planet to destroy. Anyone on it is killed. The Death Star then returns to its home planet. If the Death Star is discovered but not destroyed, they Imperials must move it to another planet.
Each Imperial commands a fleet. Any planet they choose to visit during the day will become blockaded. If a planet is blockaded, no one can enter or leave. Anyone trying to leave will be stuck, anyone trying to enter will return to their previous location.

Emperor Palpatine
Force Sensitive: Palpatine is a Sith. On odd nights, he can reach out with the Force and search someone. If they are also force-sensitive, he will find out that they have force powers.
Secret Ability: Battle Meditation: Every night he can target one player and block their Night ability.

Darth Vader
Force Sensitive: Vader is a Sith. On odd nights, he can reach out with the Force and search someone. If they are also force-sensitive, he will find out that they have force powers.
Secret Ability: More Machine Than Man: He can be rebuilt. The first time he is targeted at Night, he is merely silenced for the next Day lynch.

Admiral Firmus Piett
Don’t Fail Me Again Admiral: Piett is a lucky survivor. The first time he is targeted for a kill, he will survive.

Gangsters
The Gangsters all have PM privileges with each other. On even nights the Gangsters choose one player to assassinate.

Jabba the Hutt
Spy master: Every night Jabba can use his spy network to silence the next lynch vote of one person.
Secret Abilities: Spy network: Jabba is always aware of the locations of Imperial blockades.
Mob Boss: If Jabba is targeted for a kill, he is protected by his Gamorrean guards. There is a 50% chance that Jabba will survive. There is a 1-in-6 chance that one of the Rebels who targeted him will die instead.

Boba Fett
Bounty Hunter: Every night he can search someone and find out if they targeted someone else. He will not find out who they are, or what they did, but he will learn which player their target was.
Smuggler: He is immune to blockades. He can rescue his allies if they are on the same planet.
Secret Ability: Gadget Master: Every night, Boba can attempt to trap a player.
On odd nights there is a 33% chance of success. If successful, the victim’s next lynch vote will be silenced and Boba’s will be doubled.
On even nights Boba will always silence his victim.

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Bounty Hunter: Every night he can search someone and find out if they have been targeted by another character. You will find out what they were targeted with, but not who they are or who targeted them.
Droid: He can be rebuilt. The first time he is targeted, he is merely silenced for the next Day lynch.

Rogues
Mara Jade
Force Sensitive: She can reach out with the Force and search players. She will find out if they can use the Force or not.
Secret Role: Assassin: Mara must hunt for Luke Skywalker and Emperor Palpatine. She can search one player each night (the same player she Force searches). If she finds either of them, she will know who they are but does not gain PM privileges. When she has found both, she must then tell the Moderator if she wants to join the Rebels or the Imperials. If she chooses Rebel, she gains PM privileges with Luke. If she chooses Empire, she gains PM privileges with the Emperor.
If she fails to join either side, she must be the last player standing. While alone, every odd night, she has the option to target a player to kill. She has a 33% chance of success.

Prince Xizor
Secret Role: Usurper: Xizor must hunt for Jabba and Vader. He can search one player (living or dead) every night. If he finds them, he will know who they are. Once he knows the identity of one or the other, he must attempt to have them killed. If they are killed he can take their place, gaining PM privileges with whichever group he joins.
If he does not join a group, he can only win if he is the last player standing. While alone, every even night, he has the option to target a player to kill. He has a 33% chance of success.

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Valhalla Hills – PC Preview Review

2015-09-15_00001PC (Steam)
Early Access: 24/8/2015

7/10

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Funatics and Daedelic Entertainment present the spiritual successor to ‘The Settlers’, a strategy game with vikings! Fans of the previous title will be glad to know that many of the same team developed this game.

Cracking Ace got the chance to preview the game before it’s Early release, so the version we have is still being developed. The final game might not reflect this review, but so far it’s all looking pretty polished and is good fun to play. I imagine it can only get better.
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In ‘Valhalla Hills’ the journey to the afterlife has been disrupted. Odin is annoyed at his youngest son Leko (not Loki) for not living up to his viking heritage. In a tantrum he has closed the gates to Valhalla and is not letting anyone in unless they prove their honour.
You play as Leko and have to guide your viking followers as they work towards redeeming themselves in their god’s eyes.

It’s a simple premise, your vikings arrive on an island, they have to find and reach a portal, open it, and go through to complete the level.
The trouble is that each portal (except for the very first one in the tutorial), when opened releases Ice warriors and enemies that are all to willing to stop the vikings getting any further. So it’s up to you whether you prepare your vikings for battle, or opt to resolve things peacefully by preparing offerings.
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The more islands you complete, the more things you unlock to play with. The new buildings and equipment help against stronger enemies and allow you protection when you reach more dangerous islands that come with wildlife like boars, wolves, and bears.

The game grows slowly, letting you learn at your pace, but as you get used to things, it introduces something new. Early on it may all seem very simplistic, but as the game progresses, it really starts to become a challenge.

The controls are slightly different to most games of this type. Your commands are very passive. Rather than click on a viking and tell him/her where to go, you will just place a building site, and the vikings will get around to it when they are ready. Because of this, you don’t need the required resources already stored, as the vikings will build when they have what they need. 2015-09-15_resources
However, you do need to be wary of what resources are available to you. You can ruin your journey by spending all your logs before completing construction of a woodcutter’s, leaving you no choice but to either destroy your other buildings in the hope they’ll drop the resource you need, or starting the level over. The temptation to whack everything in place and wait for the vikings to sort it out is there, but you’ll learn not to when the builders are spreading resources thin and you’re left with a village full of useless half built huts.
You also need to be aware of the range of your buildings as vikings will only work in a limited area. If your food stores are nowhere near your army, they will starve and die.
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Being passively controlled, the vikings will decide when to take breaks, sleep, and eat. You can help them rest up better and more efficiently by providing tents and campfires. Busy vikings won’t stop what they’re doing to build new stuff. If you want one to (for example) stop fishing and build a tent, you’ll have to disable the fishery temporarily.
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The vikings themselves look cute in the chubby cartoony style, less bloodthirsty warrior, more Lord of the Rings dwarf. You can customise your vikings to some extent. You can choose a helmet, more of which unlock as you play the game and complete certain challenges, and you can rename them. The game currently randomly generates gender, beards, and clothing, but these might be changeable later.

The levels are short and ideal for quick play, but if you want to play longer you’re unlikely to get bored. It’s a fairly relaxed game. There is no ever-present threat looming over you. At worst the wildlife might be a concern, but if you keep your distance until you are ready, you should be all right. I found that once I had what I needed to get my village built, I could place everything I wanted then leave the screen for a while as they got on with what I’d asked them to do. I popped back for a minute to begin the gathering of the peace offerings, and then could wander off again while I waited.
You do need to plan what you place before doing that though to make sure your incoming resources will cover whatever you do.

So overall it’s a very enjoyable, relaxing, charming game that offers a challenge but with little urgency.

Early Access gripes

Below are a few things I hope will be fixed in the finished game:

Hopefully add a either priority build option or an editable job queue, e.g. to ensure they build the woodcutter’s before other things.

A bit of viking AI might help, although this is probably down to player error. E.g. The Bakery requires a Mill which requires a Wheat Farm. If you put them all down the vikings might build them in the wrong order.

The camera view when placing buildings is much better than general play view. I’d prefer to be in that all the time or at least be able to switch whenever I like. I can cheat it by pretending to place something, but I shouldn’t need to.

The camera zoom is most of the time too far away or too close.

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LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham – PS4 Review

lego batman beyond gotham box art
Also available on: PS3, PSV, 3DS, Wii U, Xbox One, Xbox 360, iOS
Released: November 11 2014

6/10

LEGO Batman has been revamped once again for the third instalment in the series. As the title suggests, this time the story goes outside of the caped crusader’s home town, visiting other DC cities, and even venturing into space.
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The story is simple. While Batman and Robin attempt to deal with the usual problems caused by villains Joker, Luthor, Croc, Firefly, Solomon Grundy, and Cheetah, a new threat emerges in the form of Brainiac who (despite causing no trouble in LB2) is using the lantern power rings to shrink worlds for his personal collection.

While in LEGO Batman 2, you could free roam through Gotham City, LEGO Batman 3 offers several hubs including the Batcave, Watchtower, Hall of Justice, and a number of Lantern planets.

A number of improvements have been made, but in other ways this game is weaker than its predecessor. In my opinion, LEGO Batman was one of -if not the- weakest of the LEGO games. It made me hesitant to try LEGO Batman 2. But I’m glad I did as the second game was easily one of the best LEGO games. The freedom to explore an entire Gotham city with various heroes and vehicles was fantastic. Unfortunately, LEGO Batman 3 seems to be pulling back in more of the stuff that made the first terrible while trying to keep something that resembles the freedom of the second.

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One of the first things players will notice is that Batman and Robin no longer have to find booths to change their outfits. Now once an outfit is unlocked, the dynamic duo can switch between them at any time. This is great. One of my big problems with the previous titles was that Batman and Robin became fairly useless once you had unlocked other heroes who could multitask. Now the Dark Knight and Boy Wonder are useful in almost any situation with a handy gadget, as they should be.

Several characters also come with new abilities, or variations on ones that they had before. Robin’s tech suit has a remote control Toy Wonder that he can use to get into small spaces and access new areas. Martian Manhunter can mutate into his true form and become a hulking super strong giant. Others such as the Joker, Lex Luthor, and Cyborg come with their own variety of outfits complete with gadgets and weapons.
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A number of heroes and villains have been updated to resemble counterparts in other titles such as Killer Croc who is now a behemoth like he appears in the Arkham games, rather than the green man he was before, and Lex Luthor who wears a mech suit that looks like the one from ‘Injustice: Gods Among Us’. DLC packs offer even more stuff from other incarnations, such as a huge number of Batsuits, various alternate outfits for numerous villains, and fresh takes on familiar characters like those from the Dark Knight films and Arrow TV series.

As usual, the game is advertised as a two player, but it really works best played solo. Often one character will do a lot more work than the second, and whatever happens one is normally waiting around for the other to complete a puzzle before they can move on. Which brings me to the major problem I have with this game. This is a problem the LEGO games have had since quite early on, and is why I still maintain that the very first LEGO Star Wars is still the best of the entire series. This is also why I probably will not bother getting any more LEGO games. I’ve already missed several, and I’m not worried about catching up.joker_demolition_01
I firmly feel that when playing through story mode, the levels should contain little more than running, jumping, and fighting with perhaps a few obstacles here and there to smash and build for flavour. Aside from that, all of the breaking, building, and puzzle solving should be on the sides, purely for collecting the extras like the minikit pieces and the red bricks. It’s not that I don’t like the puzzle solving, I just find that it horribly slows the pace of the game and should be there for completionists, not those who just want a fun platform action adventure.
In this, much like in the dull LEGO Batman 1, often it seems as though practically everything you see has to be smashed and rebuilt to move forward in the levels. Often you’ll accidentally collect a minikit piece when you think you’re trying to open the door to the next area. The puzzles aren’t usually clear. A character will say ‘we need something to open that door’, at which point you as the player must smash everything and see if it can be rebuilt into something else, which is usually a random machine that has no business being there that animates and open the door for you. That’s not puzzle solving. That’s mindless. Some puzzles are better, (for example the tech panels) and the game would be vastly improved by more of that type of thing i.e. puzzles where a bit of thought is required. Some puzzles are simply solved by having Solomon Grundy crawl into a hole and conveniently find whatever gadget they need just laying there. It’s lazy writing of the worst kind.
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What these games do offer by the barrel load is fan service. Whatever incarnation of Batman you enjoy, you’ll find something for your taste. LEGO Batman 3 seems to particularly delight in the 1966 Adam West Batman. Besides several unlockable playable characters, the Batcave contains a Wayne Manor tv set to explore, and Adam West himself can be found in some kind of peril in every level.
MrMxyzptlk_02The theme music from Tim Burton’s Batman movies is still prominent, while Superman’s and Wonder Woman’s personal themes accompany them in flight. Mr Freeze reminds us of the Arnold Schwarzenegger incarnation from ‘Batman and Robin’ complete with icy puns, and Gilbert Gottfried reprises a role as Mr Mxyzptlk.
You’ll also find several unexpected appearances including Conan O’Brien as your in-game guide, and the Green Loontern who gives you some missions.
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Returning from previous titles is an improved character customiser (although buggy in respects to choosing between hair and hats) and of course the free play mode where you revisit stages with all of your unlocked characters in order to gather the numerous collectibles. A fun new feature that seems to have little to do with the DC universe is the virtual reality computer. You can use it to play mini-games such as a space shooter, a race track, snake, and sumo wrestling.
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I’ve mentioned DLC already. There are currently four available packs to buy, with three more on the way. I’m not a fan of the recent DLC culture, and this game is an example of why.
Each pack offers a level and a number of playable characters. As this is a LEGO game, the characters are basically variants of ones that already playable. The levels offered are also disappointingly short, particularly the one titled ‘Dark Knight Trilogy’ which consists of a short segment playing as the Joker in a nurses uniform using rockets to fend off chasing police cars, followed by a segment playing as Batman and Commissioner Gordon as they attempt to apprehend the clown prince of crime in a scene that appears in none of the movies. The Michael Caine impression of Alfred as the narrator is funny, but the entire experience is underwhelming.

Overall, LEGO Batman 3 offers nothing particularly new, improves in some areas, drops in quality in others, and can only really be summed up as ‘more of the same’. If you’re enjoying LEGO games as they are, then this is definitely a title you will want to grab. For me though, it most probably marks the end of my LEGO game career.

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